How To Become A Powerful Person Before You Start Dating

life Feb 08, 2023
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We all know someone who started dating too early, or wound up in a bad relationship. The question is, when do you know you’re ready to date? And how do you become the kind of person who attracts the right kind of Dates instead of the wrong kinds? We’ll take a closer look at these questions below.


When Are You Ready To Date? 🤔 

I wish there was a magic formula that told you exactly when you were ready to start dating. That would be really nice. Of course, the perfect formula doesn’t exist. Fortunately, there are a few key things to consider in order to feel truly ready to date. We’ll discuss three of the most important ones.


1. When You Have The Correct View Of The “What” And “Why” Of Dating  ❗️❓

If you don’t know what dating is, and what it’s truly for, it’s easy to misuse it and regret the results.

Dating is the act of getting to know someone in an authentic way. If you buy into the culture’s definition that dating is just about quick thrills and hooking up, you’re in for a ton of heartache. That version of dating never satisfied anyone, and goes against the fundamental “why” of dating.

Speaking of which, you don’t want to start dating if you don’t have a solid “why” behind your decision. We all know people who dove into dating just because it seemed like the thing to do, only to end up an emotional wreck, or in a relationship they regretted.

The reason you choose to start dating is perhaps the most critical factor in whether you’re ready to date or not. If you choose to date for the wrong reasons, you’ll experience dismal results.

Some people date just for the fun of it, and while dating can be fun, the true reason dating exists is to help you find a life partner. Marriage is the natural end result of dating done right.

So before you start dating, this “why” of finding your future spouse should be forefront in your mind. Be intentional in your search for your future partner, and let that intentionality guide you in every dating interaction. That way you’ll avoid the cheap, empty version of dating so many are experiencing today.


2. When You Are A Viable Age ⏳

Dating is exciting. Meeting new people, having others recognize your strengths, and having fun experiences are all attractive things. But though these elements make dating tempting, you need to consider your own readiness before diving into the dating scene.

Like assessing whether you have the physical maturity and stamina to swim the English channel, it’s important to take a hard look at your maturity level and decide whether you’re old enough to start dating or not.

There’s no perfect age to start dating. It all depends on you as a person. So take the time to talk with others you trust, and evaluate yourself to see if you’re truly ready to start something as serious as the search for your life partner.

Here’s a tip to help with this. If you wouldn’t get married, or are too young to get married, two years from when you start dating, it’s probably too soon to begin that journey.


3. When You Are A Powerful Person 💛

The final thing to consider in determining your readiness is your mental and emotional state. Specifically, are you a powerful person?

A powerful person is someone who takes responsibility for their own life, who is constantly learning and growing, who is a giver and not a taker, and who is emotionally secure. Being a powerful person isn’t about dominance, but influence. Are you encouraging others to become their best selves? Or are you afraid to take the risk of helping others because of your own insecurities?

The problem with dating when you’re insecure is that you’ll either attract other insecure people (and that doesn’t end well), or you’ll attract people who will take advantage of your insecurities (which doesn’t end well either).

You don’t have to be perfect, but you do need to be well on your way to becoming a truly powerful person if you want to be ready to start dating.


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How Do You Become A Powerful Person?

Becoming a powerful person is a process, and there are steps you can take to grow in this area. Here are a few.


Get To Know Yourself, Then Keep Growing 🌱

Knowing yourself is the first step. If you don’t know your own strengths, weaknesses and tendencies, you’ll have no way to build up your character weaknesses and learn to use your strengths.

Taking personality tests, observing how you react to different situations, and asking friends to give you insight into yourself are all great ways to learn more about who you are as a person.

Once you have a good feel for who you really are and how you respond to the world around you, find ways to build up your character weaknesses. If you procrastinate, find ways or other people to help keep you focused and on task. If you tend to sleep in too much, brainstorm ideas for waking up on time, and pull someone else in to help encourage you.

The only way you’re going to experience consistent, rapid growth is by being intentional with your personal development.




Control Yourself, Not Others 😤

It’s always easier to point the finger and try to change other people than it is to change ourselves. But the only path to truly becoming a powerful person is to take personal responsibility for our own actions, and look for ways we could have done better. Complaining and blaming never led to a person becoming more powerful, because we can never control others. If we try, we’ll just waste our time and drive others away from us. We need to focus on what we can control—ourselves and our thoughts and actions.

When we do this, we’ll begin experiencing transformation, and that’s when our influence begins to grow as others notice the changes in our own lives. We’ll become contributors as others seek us out for help and insight into their own problems, and we become more powerful people as we help others change for the better.


Be Respectful Of Your Environment 🚮

No one likes someone who doesn’t respect others or their space. If you want to be treated with respect, it’s critical to treat others with it. Dress well, speak clearly and politely, and serve others. Open doors for others or let them go first. Take the time to listen, and empathize with the problems others face. Be aware of those around you, and do your best not to disrupt or distract.

By respecting your environment and the other people in it, you will continue to become a person others will look up to and emulate.


Date Yourself First So You Know Exactly What You Can Give In A Relationship 🙋

Dating is serious. When the end goal is marriage, there are few decisions more important than choosing the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with.

To prepare for this decision, “date” yourself to find out what kind of person you are, and who you’ll be compatible with.

Okay, so you don’t actually need to date yourself. But taking some time to consider yourself from your prospective partner’s point of view can be a valuable exercise in determining your own readiness, and what you’re looking for in a relationship.


It’s Not About Fulfillment. It’s About Complementing 💕

It’s tempting to pursue a relationship that just makes you feel good. The problem with this approach is that there’s no guarantee it will last. Emotions are fickle things, and if you’re looking for a long-term partner, your feelings are the last thing you want to consult.

The goal is not finding someone who makes you feel happy. The goal is finding someone who complements you and who you complement. Someone who can be a real partner when things get tough. This gives the two of you something real and factual to hold onto in the relationship, and not just some fleeting emotions that come and go.

Having a practical, fundamental list of Must Haves in mind that are based on your values is essential to finding someone who will be truly compatible with who you are as a person.


Know Your “Must Haves” In A Relationship   âœ…

Taking a hard look at yourself and creating a list of Must Haves based on your values is something you want to do before you start dating. This will save you a lot of trouble down the road by eliminating unnecessary second dates and helping you focus on just those people who you factually know will be on the same page as you.

Creating a list of 10 top Must Haves can give you the guidance you need to choose which relationships to take more seriously, and which to let go of. You can check out our other blog here to learn more about creating your top 10 list.

Take Action! 💥

💥 Ask and answer the question, “What are my reasons for wanting to date?”

💥 Take a moment to ask yourself if you truly know yourself. Define what that means.

💥 Fill out our Self-Discovery PDF





📚 Date Or Soul Mate 

📚 The Sacred Search

📚 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged


The Reward Is Great 🏆

Getting to know yourself is hard work, but taking the time to invest in your personal growth and flush out what your values truly are is worth it. By knowing who you are and what you stand for, you’re on your way to becoming a powerful person, and stand a much better chance of finding someone else you can share your life with who is one too.


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